ABOUT ME

I list a few of the things that made who I am.

1/ Selective Mutism

Born in Osaka, Japan in 1977. I had selective mutism until I finished elementary school (back then, this term did not exist, at least in Japan. Somehow I selected the school for me to be selective mutism.) That is why I like to listen to unspoken words.

2/ Hit and Run

At the age of seventeen, I was hit and run by a car while I was delivering newspaper on a bike in early morning. Right before then, I passed by a group of university kids drunk on street. I felt jealous, “I’m here working everyday from 3.30am while these youngsters are drinking and doing stupid stuff all night.” Then, I got hit by a car, flew like there was no gravity (I wish I could do such a dropkick,) and made a flashy landing on a bicycle parking. There were no witnesses but me and that cabrón driver. The car left, and I naturally thought he’d be coming back. In my mind, there was absolutely no sense of possibility of an adult hitting a child by car and run in a real life. Later, I heard that he did, and it took me a while to accept that fact. Anyways, I was laying alone on a bed of bicycles, and those stupid drunk university kids came running to me, taking care of me, and I suppose calling ambulance and stuff, I was not aware. One drunken university boy even fought another drunken man (who knows where he came from) for me (?) it was a mess. I started crying seeing this drunken university boy, whom I called “lazy bastard” in my mind a few minutes ago, fighting for me (?). Even though I didn’t feel it, but I must be in pain or shock because I couldn’t speak. And this drunken university girl beside me soothed me saying, “It’s ok, you don’t have to worry about it.” And I cried because these spoiled youngsters were so nice, also, I felt so bad that I had called them “dumb youngsters” a while ago. Thanks to the wonderful sympathetic nerve function of human body that numbed my pain, I could have a philosophical moment awhile to think about “Good and Evil.” Not as serious as a word “evil,” but I had to face my “no-no side” in the possibly best moment and the best way. This is how I lost a part of my innocence. Considering much tougher living situations for some or many kids, I was lucky that I could enjoy my innocence until that age. Since then, innocence for me was not something to be given anymore, but to select and protect with my own will.

3/ Breaking Knee

I broke the ACL on my knee at the age of nineteen. I was in the US back then, training at a karate dojo. I was the best (you might have / will notice I’m short of modesty, for a Japanese especially) till that moment in the dojo, and fell to the bottom, that’s how I felt. My beautiful sidekicks are crappier than of the beginner kids I was teaching. I even started having frustrations for my students that did well or badly. Jealousy for the good ones and even anger for the bad ones. Then, I started trying to convince myself that I got old while I was still full of energy and strength. “Normal people have to handle the aging when they’re older and less energetic. I’m blessed.” This method didn’t ever work out well. It’s only within this past month I’m partly getting convinced. But, since long time ago, I knew my injury was a gift for me as a teacher. I’m extra cautious about injuries and accidents for my students thanks to it. And I thank my students for healing the injury in my heart.

Karate and Me

Looking back these three occasions, Karate was with me and saving me every time and always. In the years of being a selective mute, the sense of confidence or or the sense of “I’m better than you” (Honestly speaking. Unless I speak honestly, why should I waste your time reading this? This is my way of sincerity) that Karate gave me, kept me wanting to make friends (which, I didn’t do well. But that is not the point.) Many days after school, I walked home encouraging myself, “tomorrow, I’m going to say this, and it’ll be so funny. Tomorrow.” Then, hit and run. Because I was doing Karate since nine years old, my body must have known how to protect itself reflectively. Although I couldn’t move for a couple of weeks, I didn’t break any bone or joint. Then, my knee thing. I was hurt by Karate and healed by Karate. And in between those hurt and healed, Karate brought me uncountable human relations, learnings, insights, new views, health, dreams, and a heart to believe in dreams. I must say, I loved every single moment of it. And I am excited to still continue collecting those treasures throughout my life.